


Loving A Criminal

by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AKA Reichenbach never happens, Cute texts, Fluff, M/M, Sheriarty - Freeform, Sherlock is in love with a criminal, Songfic, Swearing, criminal, jimlock, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3398555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfic inspired by Britney Spears's song "Criminal"</p><p>Sherlock's in love with a criminal. But he can't help it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loving A Criminal

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, unbritpicked. 
> 
> Italics = song lyrics
> 
> Bold = Texts
> 
> I do not own "Criminal" by Britney Spears. 
> 
> This is my first Sheriarty fic, and I really like the way it turned out!

_He is a hustler_

Jim Moriarty was the master of the criminal underworld, and he was absolutely brilliant. Even Sherlock and Mycroft Holmes had to agree that they may’ve met their intellectual equal.

_He's no good at all_

Sherlock’s lost track of all the criminal deeds that Moriarty has committed. Arson, theft, terrorism, kidnapping, murder. . . the list goes on. But Moriarty hates to get his hands dirty.

Unless it dealt with the crown jewels.

_He is a loser, he's a bum, bum, bum, bum_

No, Jim had his underlings and his snipers to do the dirty work for him. He got to luxuriate and negotiate while sitting back and not having to worry about things like “where to hide the body”.

Because he knows where to hide it for Sherlock’s entertainment.

_He lies, he bluffs_

Being a fellow sociopath, Sherlock could barely tell when he lied and when he didn’t. And he knows when he is, like when “Jim from IT” was dating dear little Molly.

_He's unreliable._

He’s unreliable about being good, but he was good at being bad.

_He is a sucker with a gun, gun, gun, gun_

Sherlock also had a bad time forgetting that he once strapped John Watson to a Semtax vest and threatened to kill him unless Sherlock surrendered to a little part of their game in the pool.

_I know you told me_ _I should stay away._

John somehow realized Sherlock’s attraction to the consulting criminal before the consulting detective and firmly advised against it. Said it in that commanding, Captain voice too.

But Sherlock couldn’t help it. He was attracted to Moriarty.

Despite being an asexual, he was actually a sapiosexual, attracted to intelligence rather than physical attributes.

_I know you said he's just a dog astray._

Sherlock knew Jim’s sob story. How his parents were physically, mentally, and psychologically abusive towards their brilliant little Irishman. How he ended up killing his parents when he turned 16. How he survived on the streets through prostitution, but eventually made his way up to the top of the criminal world through his intelligence. He had taken to the criminal lifestyle as easily as a fish to water.

_He is a bad boy with a tainted heart and even I know this ain’t smart_

Sherlock knew that falling for Jim was a really bad idea. Caring isn’t an advantage, as his brother was fond of reminding him. Not to mention how it would complicate things with The Work. And John.

_But mama I’m in love with a criminal_

But the consulting detective was in love with the consulting criminal. And his brilliance.

_And this type of love_ _isn't rational, it's physical_

The first time Sherlock and Jim made love- sorry, fucked- is when the attraction became physical. Jim was fascinated with each and every little scar on his body, and spent some time not just deducing them, but kissing and caressing each one, as if he could erase the painful memories and replace them with erotic ones.

_Mama please don't cry_ _, I will be alright_

John dropped the kettle (and broke it) when he found the four hickys on Sherlock’s neck and collarbones the next day, and somehow, he figured it out. Sherlock had to give him credit for it. He was close to tears as he ranted and raved about how Sherlock was insane, and how he needs to be careful, because he didn’t want to see Sherlock hurt. He didn’t want to see his best friend hurt.

That same hurt look appeared often after Sherlock came home after a night at Jim’s luxurious apartment, or when he saw Jim bound down the stairs in 221B, calling, “Later, Johnny!”

_All reasons inside, I just can’t deny_ _, love the guy_

But Sherlock had no rational explanation for being attracted to Jim. He loved him.

His intelligence, his body, his eyes.

_He is a villain of the devil's law_

John often called Jim “the bloody fucking devil” and that he’s “fucking a bloody demon, for chrissake”. These more colorful rants occurred after Jim would walk out of 221B and while John made himself a cup of tea, like he was wont to do in any given situation. Although Sherlock suspected that there was now a bottle of rum stashed somewhere in the kitchen for the specific purpose of mornings such as those.

_He is a killer just for fun, fun, fun, fun_

Sherlock typically didn’t like to think of all the people Jim has killed or is currently killing. They leave work at the door when they’re with each other. Debates, deductions, followed by wild, passionate sex and maybe a cup of tea.

They didn’t talk about Sherlock’s cases, or lack thereof (although his visits increased exponentially when he was bored). They didn’t talk about Jim and his dealings, or why he was doing what he was doing. They left it at the door when they entered whosever flat, and they picked them back up when they left.

_That man's a snitch and unpredictable,_

One of the things that Sherlock LOVED about Jim was how unpredictable he was.

Or rather, how he was “SOOOO CHANGEABLE”. It made a nice change in pace when Sherlock worked and he found a case that Moriarty had help orchestrate for him. He’d smile to himself and declare it Moriarty’s work, and therefore, to gather more data, he’d go see him.

Without John, of course.

This usually led to light banter and teasing, followed by wild, passionate sex.

It was glorious.

_He's got no conscience, he got none, none, none, none_

Truly, the amount of depravity that Jim would get himself into was phenomenal. Even Sherlock was impressed. Nothing was off limits to Jim. Nothing.

_All I know, should let go, but no_

Sherlock knows that he shouldn’t be in this. . . relationship with Jim. But he was most content in Jim’s bed, with the shorter man curled up and his own pale skin and dark hair against his. He loved hearing Jim’s Irish lilt grow sleepy as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“You’ll mess up my hair,” Jim would murmur.

“Good. It needs to be messed up more,” Sherlock would rumble back.

Jim would huff a laugh and smirk at Sherlock. “Do you know how long it takes to get this perfect?”

“Two hours, seventeen minutes, forty nine seconds.”

Another smirk and Jim would nuzzle into Sherlock’s sensitive neck, making the other man groan.

_'Cause he's a bad boy with a tainted heart_

Poor Sherlock was sweet and naïve. At least in sex. Jim was right, that Sherlock was a virgin, but sex didn’t alarm him.

Jim was also patient and understanding, wanting Sherlock to have a good first time.

And he did too.

_And even I know this ain't smart_

“You know, John’s probably going to pitch a fit,” Jim murmured one night after a fantastic bout of sex at 221B. John got home in the middle of their amorous get together, and Sherlock could hear the distinct sounds of crap telly not three minutes later and the kettle whistling four.

“He’ll deal with it,” Sherlock sighed, running his fingers through Jim’s hair.

The Irishman traced designs on Sherlock’s chest, humming contently. “You know, you are really stupid for getting into this with me,” he commented.

Sherlock smiled and placed a soft kiss on top of his criminal’s head. “Perhaps,” he agreed. “But it is so worth it.”

“Do you have a Browning L9A1 in bed with us, or are you happy to see me?” Jim teased, pressing a soft kiss to his detective’s jaw.

“Mmm, I believe that it would be the latter, John’s hidden the Browning again,” Sherlock purred, his head tilting down to catch the criminal’s lips in his.

_But Mama, I’m in love with a criminal_

Mycroft, when he finally caught wind of the relationship between the two, pursed his lips and waved that stupid brolly in Sherlock’s face.

“That man is dangerous, Sherlock. I want you to be careful. Remember, caring isn’t an advantage. It never has been.”

“I am being careful,” Sherlock snapped. “I am a grown man. I can take care of myself.”

“Isn’t that what you said the first time I approached you about rehab, Sherlock? You’re the only family I have left, and you’re my baby brother.”

_And this type of love isn’t rational, it’s physical_

Sherlock loved undressing for bed with Jim, watching his eyes rake over pale flesh being unveiled, watching to see how long it took before the other man gave over to his primitive desires.

The answer is usually not very long. There’s times, but Sherlock keeps misplacing them.

_Mama please don’t cry, I will be alright_

Sherlock can relax around Jim. He doesn’t have to impress anyone, doesn’t have to keep up appearances.

With Jim, he’s just Sherlock, his lover and his companion. He doesn’t have to deduce, he just has to be him. Deductions occur, of course, it’s almost like a form of foreplay between the two geniuses. But he doesn’t have to think.

His mind is quiet.

_All reason aside I just can’t deny, love the guy_

The first “I love you” came from Jim, who had pinked upon saying it. Sherlock swept a long finger over the other man’s flushed cheek with a warm smile.

“I know,” he whispered. “I love you too.”

The shorter man smile and kissed Sherlock’s cheek. “Good. That was the goal, you know.”

“Of course.”

_And he's got my name tattooed on his arm, his lucky charm,_

They really didn’t believe in luck or other little superstitions like that, but they did keep something of each other’s on them at all times.

Sherlock always carried one of Jim’s signature Westwood handkerchiefs on him, tucked away in his trouser’s pocket. When John wasn’t looking, he’d take it out and inhale Jim’s highly expensive cologne and eagerly plan their next meaning.

Jim, on the other hand, held onto one of Sherlock’s rich purple shirts- “the purple shirt of sex”- and would sometimes wear it with his Westwoods. Other times, he’d just wear it at home, and he always made sure to stroke the soft silk and sniff the collar to smell Sherlock’s wonderful cologne, expensive but still tasteful.  

_So I guess it’s okay_ _, he's with me_

**Going to be a few minutes late to our date, Jim. This case is a 7 and I need to start a few tests at the lab. It’s not one of yours. –SH**

**Alright, dear, be safe. Be sure to tell Johnny hi from me! –JM**

**He says to piss off. I can’t tell who he was talking to. –SH**

**Oh, dear. You should control your pet better, Sherl. –JM**

**He just likes to be difficult. He has a date tonight. We’ll see if coitus happens to him. –SH**

**Oh, I like the way you think, Sherl. Let me know when you’re on your way. –JM**

**Will do. –SH**

***winks* -JM**

**You’re such a child. –SH**

**And you love it. –JM**

**Do I have to dignify that with a response? -SH** __  
  
And I hear people talk, trying to make remarks, keep us apart

**Do you know what the news was saying about me today, love? –JM**

**No. John didn’t even have the telly on. –SH**

**They’re saying that I’m the worst criminal London’s had since Jack the Ripper. –JM**

**Well, they’re not that far from the truth. –SH**

**Surely you don’t believe them! –JM**

**Oh, of course I do. I get your cases when Scotland Yard can’t figure them out. Which is all the time. –SH**

**I can’t believe you! –JM**

**Oh, yes you can. You choose not to because you love playing the wounded hero. –SH**

**How can I love you?! –JM**

**I believe you said Thursday evening “Without you, my life would be incomplete. Because you get me, Sherlock. You understand me. You know me for what I am, and you don’t care.” –SH**

**You lie. I am a hardened criminal mastermind. I don’t say mushy things like that. –JM**

**Are you referring to your mind or is your blood currently rushing south? –SH**

**Sherlock! –JM**

**That is my name. You say it often enough. –SH**

**You are a horrible man. –JM**

**And you love me for it. –SH**

**Satan help me, I do. –JM**

**I thought that the expression was “God help me”. –SH**

**It is. But “Satan” works better, considering that I am a horrible human being and is probably going to hell in a handbasket. –JM**

**Agreed. –SH**

_But I don't even hear_ _, I don't care_

“Sherlock? Are you even listening?”

John stood in front of Sherlock as he returned from reviewing conversations with Jim in his mind palace.

“The man is a _criminal,_ Sherlock! Not only that, but your arch rival! How are you engaged in. . . In. . . in. . . whatever you bloody call it?!”

Sherlock gave a ghost of a smile. “I’m not sure, John, you’re the expert in relationships, after all.”

John glowered, then “I’m going for a walk.”

“’Kay” Sherlock said, retreating to his mind palace again to pick up the previous night with Jim.

_But Mama, I’m in love with a criminal_

“How does it feel, to be in the bed of the London’s worst criminal since Jack the Ripper?” Jim asked teasingly.

Sherlock smiled and stroked Jim’s hair.

“It feels like I’m in love with this criminal,” he rumbled.

“Careful, Sherl, you know how I hate flattery,” Jim laughed, smiling.

“Of course. Which is why you absolutely love while I’m breathing it in your ear.”

Jim buried his head in Sherlock’s shoulder, laughing. “You’re a delight, Sherlock Holmes.”

“As are you, James Moriarty. As are you.”

_And this type of love isn’t rational it’s physical_

**Dinner? –JM**

**Sure. Where? –SH**

**My place. I’ll order Thai. –JM**

**Sounds good. You know my usual. –SH**

**Extra curry tonight? –JM**

**Of course. It’s with you. –SH**

**You naughty thing, Sherlock. –JM**

**Oh shut up, you love it. –SH**

**About as much as I love you –JM**

**I love you too. Order the damn Thai. I’ll be over soon. -SH**

_Mama, please don’t cry I will be alright_

“Sherlock? Do you realize that you’re insane?”

“Of course, John, I’m a high functioning sociopath.”

“What do you hope to accomplish with this relationship with Moriarty?”

Sherlock smiled. “We’ll see, now won’t we? It’s an experiment. Of sorts.”

**Buzz**

**I am not an experiment! –JM**

**No, of course not dear. Go back to your snipers. –SH**

_All reason aside, I just can’t deny, love the guy._

**Can I ask you something? It’s going to sound really crazy. –JM**

**Sure. –SH**

**Will you marry me? –JM**

**Do you want to hear my really crazy answer? –SH**

**Of course, dear. –JM**

**Yes. –SH**

**Sherlock Moriarty. It has a nice ring to it. –JM**

**Yes. Jim Holmes just sounds like a drug addict. –SH**

**And James Holmes sounds like a barrister. The idea of me having such a respectable name is laughable. –JM**

**It is indeed. And the hyphenated form looks ridiculous. Sherlock Holmes-Moriarty and James Holmes-Moriarty. –SH**

**So does James Moriarty-Holmes and Sherlock Moriarty-Holmes. –JM**

**That looks even more ridiculous. –SM**

**Getting used to your new initials? –JM**

**Yes. –SM**

**Good. 4 sound good? –JM**

**Yes. –SM**

**Good. See you at the courthouse, love. -JM**

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are Shiny!!


End file.
